Five freaks plus a female equals the Hofstra University rape case
September 22, 11:39 AMSF Dating Advice Examiner
I'm sure the parents of the 5 young men recently released from jail after their alleged rape victim recanted her story are relieved.
But they shouldn't be.
What is the deal with your sons mothers and fathers? Why did not one of your sons attempt to intervene on the young woman's behalf? Why is it that your boys think its okay to not only watch a girl being victimized , but to jump into the fray and participate with glee in the victimization?
She wasn't raped and she made the whole thing up you say? As an advice columnist for the past 20 years, I have a handle on how men think, the rage men have towards women that deny them, and the fears and vulnerability young women have. Here's how I think it all went down.
Guy is dancing with woman. She is fine. He and his friend want some booty. They concoct a ruse to get her away from the party and the eyes of others, so one of the group snatches her cell phone and runs off with it. Of course she follows him, requesting that he give her the phone back. Who wouldn't? He heads towards the men's room where his friend is laying in wait. She is surrounded by two strapping young men in their physical prime. They that threaten to tie her up with a rope and do her anyway if she doesn't give it up willingly.
Terrified, she looks around and sees there is no one to come to her aid. There are no security cameras, no security officers, and no students around. There is no one to help get her out of this situation.
Keep in mind every single rape advocacy organization out there tells women "make a decision to fight or go with it. The goal is to come out of the situation alive." In cases of abduction kidnapping victims are advised to "keep track of what is going on, what the kidnappers are doing, what they call themselves, how many of them there are, etc. This information may be needed to help in the victim's escape or to later identify the kidnappers."
This is exactly what the victim did.
Humiliated and frightened, she decides with two guys it is more likely for her to come out of the situation alive if she gives in to their demands. In shock and afraid of what will happen if she doesn't comply, she enters the bathroom and is subsequently raped by the first two men. Using their cell phones they alert their buddies about the good time they are having. From news reports, there was no indication that police ever checked texts or calls between the alleged culprits, but perhaps that was on their agenda for later. We'll never know now.
Apparently, no one ever considered that the victim is in a nasty men's bathroom smelling of urine, and on a cold tile floor. Why is it that no one thought about the fact that a woman having sex wants to be comfortable? If this girl were truly consenting to sex, wouldn't she would have gone to the dorm room of the student ... a place with a comfortable bed instead of doing all this on a cold tile floor? Guess not.
The victim is hoping that after the first two finish she'll be let go. But instead, in walk three other guys looking to get their share of the action. She pleads with them to help her, but they laugh and start unzipping their pants, congratulating their friends on scoring such a fine piece. Standing by the door to block her exit, they wait their turn. She said "no!," "please don't!" and "Stop, let me go!" but her pleas fall on deaf ears.
Several of those guys look to be way over 200 lbs, and there is no woman except for Xena The Princess Warrior or Gogo Yubari (Kill Bill) that can fight five guys at the same time! So while her mind quietly retreats she allows use of her body in the hopes that pleasing them will get her out of there and back home to family and friends in one piece.
After they finish their "party" the victim is released. I guess we should be happy that these five aren't murderers.
What people are not considering is the impact of what psychologists call the Stockholm Syndrome. Some of you may be too young to remember, but back in 1975, a bank robbery at the Stockholm Kreditbankenin, turned into a three-day siege. During these three days, the hostages and their captors were barricaded in a vault. When rescued police and psychologists observed that the hostages seemed to become emotionally attached to the captors, so much so that they warned the bank robbers when the police moved in to affect a rescue. It was also publicized that some of the victims refused to testify against the bank robbers, and maintained contact with them even after their imprisonment. A female victim later married one of the captors as well.
A year earlier Patty Hearst, the granddaughter of publishing giant William Randolph Hearst, was kidnapped at gunpoint from her Berkeley apartment by members of the Symbionese Liberation Army. After two months of captivity, she announced in a recorded statement that she had joined the SLA and taken the name Tania. Within the same month (April 1974) newspapers across the country showed a photograph of Patty holding an M1, threatening patrons of a Hibernia Bank in San Francisco during a robbery.
I say all this to point out that in a situation where someone is held captive, with no options for escape, it may seem that they present themselves as being in agreement with their captors. It may later appear that the victim was there of their own volition, and that they fully consented to the abuse suffered. In reality, that is not at all the case, and any mental health professional and seasoned police investigator knows this.
They also know how many rape victims decide not to testify against their rapists due to the negative publicity and attitudes of Americans which is "she must have wanted it… otherwise she would not have (fill in the blank)." I've addressed society's attitude towards women and their rights to their bodies and men's feelings of ownership and control over women's vagina's in the articles The Male Sruggle for Control of Female Sexuality, and Jerks, Idiots and Abusive Behaviors - Recognizing the Signs of Verbal Abuse.
To me it is no surprise that she recanted her story, hoping that it will all just go away and life will get back to normal. Poor thing, she doesn't know the psychological and emotional hell that awaits her.
More and more men seem to feel entitled to women's bodies and believe they have the right to take what they want, in spite of a female's protestations. Some blame the video music industry, others violent video games and movies. I blame the men because they are the only ones in control of their bodies, minds and actions.
Shocking statistics from the Department of Justice/FBI's report on Crime in the United States reflect misogny and a sense of entitlement to women:
*The National College Women Sexual Victimization Study estimated that between 1 in 4 and 1 in 5 college women experience completed or attempted rape during their college years (Fisher 2000).
*Fewer than half (48%) of all rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police (DOJ 2001).
*Factoring in unreported rapes, about 5% - one out of twenty - of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. 19 out of 20 will walk free. (Probability statistics based on US Department of Justice Statistics)
*The FBI estimates that only 37% of all rapes are reported to the police. U.S. Justice Department statistics are even lower, with only 26% of all rapes or attempted rapes being reported to law enforcement officials.
*Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted. (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) calculation based on 2000 National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice)
Even in situations as non-invasive as sexual harassment on jobs, men and women exhibit widespread acceptance of these behaviors as either something out of their power to stop, something that women should take "as a joke," or something that women must tolerate out of fear of losing their jobs. Sexual comments and gestures, as well as physically blocking entre and exit from rooms falls under the umbrella of sexual harassment per Federal law.
So, when told by five adult males that the only way you, a small female, were leaving a room was to first lay there and give them what they wanted, you'd probably agree to that. And I guess it might appear, after reviewing a few convenient minutes of phone recordings, that you were "consenting" to the nonsense you were just coerced and threatened into doing. If you were real simple minded, you might even believe that garbage.
Are you making the connection here, or am I the only one that sees how this really went down?
So now we turn back to the parents of these boys, who really need to get over their feelings of relief and closely examine the mentality of their sons.
First of all, let's look at the behavior of the guy that snatched the phone and lured her to the trap. For two men young men to plan the abduction and rape of a young woman is disgusting. Typically, men of this sort are undesirable, and harbor resentment towards women for years of rejection. Did he have his eye on this particular woman or did she represent a "type"? Had he tried to get at her before and got shot down? Was this his moment to "get the b's back?" Apparently so. By luring a woman to a situation he not only got what he wanted from her, but to make her suffer the ultimate humiliation of a gang rape.
Then you have to look at the mentality of a male that would even want to have sex with a woman in a group setting. Like rutting animals one after the other - posing her, plunging in and out of her like beasts, using her body for their sexual satisfaction while others cheer him on and await their turn. What happened in that bathroom was not sex – it is sexual perversity and objectification of women.
I hope their nasty behinds used condoms, but if not that's a whole 'nother issue to deal with.
Finally, the fella that made the recording of the rape is the most twisted. By recording the violation, he is in a position to send it to every male he can think of, or post it on MySpace or forums. He can also relive the glorious moment of his release of rage towards women that denied him sex over and over and over again. Much like mass murders take an item belonging to their victim as a trophy of the kill, this guy left with a trophy of his sexual attack on an unwilling female.
Parents, your boys are sick and need to get some help. If you have daughters, nieces and other young females in the family and/or neighborhood, you need to watch your sons when around them. This is not normal behavior for males with a sense of decency and respect towards females… this group of five males exhibited misogynistic attitudes towards women at a very deep, sociopathic level.
My warning to the parents: your sons are headed to the Registered Sex Offender list and prison in a few years if you don't intervene now.
Perhaps if I were Barbara Walters or Oprah, I could get an interview with the victim. Putting her behind a screen to protect her privacy, I could talk with her candidly, without judgment or ridicule, and get her version of the events that led to her being in a bathroom with five men having sex. We don't yet know the contents of the 5 minutes and 38 seconds of cell phone video that reportedly show "consensual" sex, but somehow I doubt it shows the vital components of the story – the part where she said "Stop it!," "I want to leave!" "Get off me!" and "Help!"
Sexual contact with any woman after she utters even one of those words constitutes rape.
Health 24 - Kampusch: Identifying with kidnapper?
Department of Justice and Federal Bureau of Investigation Crime in the United States (2004)http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius_04/offenses_reported/offense_tabulations/index.html